I am content. I am relieved. I am better and there is finally a smile on my face. Yesterday, some truth was found & in finding out that my views are the same as others' I am no longer feeling unsupported or alone. Yes, I still have many personal issues to work on; one of them being tackling my fear head on. However, it's all more clear to me and I feel accomplished. Especially since I thought I'd lost myself completely. I know I am still here, still alive. The only difference is, is that I survived. THEBITCH is defeated in my mind, no one really likes her; no one really wants to be around her. That's why she was trying to butter up my cousins. They headed back down south last night, and a long conversation ensued once they had gone. I can relate to the black sheep feeling, and I know that I have to push myself forwards so I can too get away from all of this. They're all fighting over money, bitchyness, harsh reality. Apparently uncle T stood up to THEBITCH over her bitching about me once, meaning she finally shut up and backed off. It's funny because all of us have come to the same conclusion of her on our own. She relies on her partner's opinions and she can't think for herself. Mum says if she says anything negative to her though, she ends up not talking to her for months. I'd say that's a great thing to happen though. I miss my youngest cousin though, he's the soul and body of this family. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't have felt this comfortable all of the holidays. I just fit right in mostly, and I owe it to him for keeping us together. My other aunt and uncle just left, and it feels crappy. They are such nice people, though. Standing up for me and stuff. I know I can go to them if I need to. The rest, well.. eh.
Anycase, lots of work to finish. Lots of things to watch and do. Better commence with some.
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