WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

I TRY TO BE MYSELF

The secure self: You do your best to be yourself at all times. To you it’s possible and desirable to express your whole personality. You’re not ashamed to admit limitations or talk about your faults, and have no difficulty in recognising your qualities or celebrating your strong points. In your mind this is the only way to live. This makes you a very pleasant and secure friend. Your behaviour reassures those around you who doubt themselves, while encouraging them to seek their own role and direction in life. With you, things are simple and natural. This is the best situation for everyone. Well, almost… Be careful of your discreet self-satisfaction, which can cause psychological immobility. Although it can create stability and be beneficial to your emotional wellbeing, your attitude of self-tolerance is not quite so good for your personal development. Discomfort and frustration can be powerful and necessary catalysts for change in life. Being content is one thing, but stagnating is quite another.

HOW HAS YOUR FATHER SHAPED YOU?

You feel that your father left you with a legacy of shame. Without a strong sense of stability in the home you are likely to have grown up feeling insecure and lacking in confidence. You may have felt reluctant to get close to others for fear that they will discover the real you, and you may be haunted by low self-respect. From time to time you may have struggled with self-destructive tendencies. With the desire to emancipate yourself from your father and everything he represents to you, over time you may have built up armour, viewing life as a series of battles. Ambitious and competitive, you tend to be hard on yourself and critical of others. You are likely to wrestle most with the courage to transform feelings of powerlessness and bitterness into hope and an affirmation of yourself and life.

and

you just broke your child

WHO IS YOUR INNER CHILD?

THE MODEL CHILD

Your inner child is very well behaved.You are respectful of others and you are careful never to contradict anyone, and not to offend anyone. You do what you can to please others: you accede to their demands and what they expect, rather than doing what you want. You sometimes say 'yes when you mean to say 'no'. Like the invisible man you prefer to stay in the shadows and let other people take centre stage. You do't like imposing yourself and always wait until you are asked. Your inner child is also therefore a bit submissive, indecisive and shy... It takes refuge in daydreams about the future which are often quite fantastical. What you lack is confidence and the force with which to make your dreams come true, simply because you are afraid to put others out. So, allow your inner child the chance to rebel and be brave; allow it to be headstrong and express its anger. You will then be free to express yourself, your interior world and your creativity.

The rebel daughter

There's no doubt about it, the image you've formed of your father is a negative one; you don't trust him, you don't do as he says. Whether because of things that have actually happened, or because of the way others have portrayed him, you don't think he deserves your love. You have tried to define yourself without any reference to him. You have tried to distance yourself from him because your worst fear is that you'll grow to be like him. The further away he is, the better. If you do meet, both of you are hostile: you go along prepared for a fight. You need to be careful you don't go too far, though, or you could get stuck in a position of anger and rebellion from which it is impossible to make peace. Your anger is that of the little girl you once were, who is rebelling and fighting against a father who doesn't show his love. She can't see the positive sides to this man, who so often seems to be in conflict with her mother. She rejects him before he can reject her, to avoid admitting that she craves his affection. You need to cry, and express the pain you feel so that you can come to terms with the fact that you didn't have the kind of dad you wanted. Eventually you will stop feeling so angry with him and stop hating him. You need to acknowledge the hurt you feel with regard to your father, and try to work out how you can get past it.